Scholarship Recipient – Lose Uluave

When I was nine years old, my father was diagnosed with Lupus. He is now disabled and unable to provide for my family. My mother works twelve-hour shifts, Monday through Friday, to keep food on our table for my four sisters and me. It’s been a hard transition, but I’ve been able to learn responsibility as I take care of my younger siblings and attend school. My parents never wanted me to get a job and help out with finances, however, they wanted me to work hard in school and get good grades. I have two other sisters that are in college, and seven who are currently living at home. It has not been easy to help provide for everyone, but our family works together to improve our situation and make it work.

The bell rings at the end of second period and the lunch hour begins. My stomach turns, yet I manage to get up and walk out. I think to myself, “Where should I go? The library… no, I went there yesterday. I’ll just go to the bathroom.”

This year has been one of the hardest years of high school, academically and socially. I’ve been able to accomplish many of my goals with being a member of Student Government, singing in Ensemble and A’Cappella, and serving the community on the National Honor Society. However, I find myself stuck – stuck in between two worlds. I have a world of friends in my honors and AP classes, who are applying for colleges and scholarships just like me. I have many things in common with these kids but sometimes I feel like the Sesame Street song, “One of these things is not like the other.” They don’t live in my neighborhood or attend the same functions I do. And when it comes to lunch, I definitely won’t fit in at their table; brown girls don’t sit there.

On the other hand, I don’t quite fit in with the kids in my neighborhood either. I like Bob Marley’s music and hanging out after school, but I also like going to class before the bell rings and reading Crime and Punishment during the Christmas break. I don’t know how to screen in basketball or how to do the latest dance move: the jerk. My lack of “ghetto” knowledge as well as success in class equaled me wanting to be white or having a better-than-thou personality. And it was because of this reason that I wasn’t accepted in this brown circle of friends, either. I’ve had to withstand a lot of bullying and just outright mean girls who prey on anyone who is the most visible, and try to bring them down to their level.